I finished a raw MS a couple weeks ago and I am about a third of the way through the beginning edits. These edits are for me to make sure I got all the tenses right, have correct commas, and prepping for other people to read it before I edit again (and again) for a new agent.
This new MS is much different from “The Healing Pool.” It is an adult fiction–not sure if I can get a more specific category–that addresses heavy issues such as mental illness and domestic violence. I think that this work is much more gripping and interesting than my first book, but as I go through and edit some worries are creeping into my head.
I am a senior in college. I am graduating with a music performance degree, but I want to make a career as an author. I know that my writing dream will take time. I can live with that. But the pressures of being an almost-real-life-adult along with the stress of marketing myself and my book is beginning to sneak up on me.
I love the writing process. I love the editing process. Hell, formatting was pretty cool too. However, I really want this second book to get an agent. I want some hard-core help with marketing and for someone to fight for my book and get a publisher really interested. Self-publishing is difficult. I did it once and I know I can do it again, but I don’t know if I can afford to do it again. Self-publishing takes a lot of time but it also takes a lot of money to do it right. I was financially savvy with “The Healing Pool” but even so it took a chunk out of my wallet. I also feel pressured to get this new book out ASAP. There is no one pushing me but myself, but myself wants to keep turning books out so I can get a wide audience and a good standing as an author.
I might be getting ahead of myself. The new MS is still raw, the edits are only beginning, and by the time it’s ready to submit I will likely be graduated and looking for jobs. I think once school is over my mindset will be able to focus. It is difficult to write while in college. I’m sure many of you can attest to that! There are so many other priorities in life right now although the latest MS feels like it should be the most important!
Ok, my nervous rant is over. Needed to get that off my chest! I know that all good things come with time, and although I consider myself to be a patient person, sometimes things need to happen NOW. Right now I need to focus my energies on the creative process before I freak out about the other stuff. I still need to take into account that I might decide to self-publish again and prepare for that, but right now I can also spare to enjoy the process a little.
Has anyone else had freak outs like this before? It’s nice to know you’re not alone!